and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
