remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
