How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
