i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
