wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
