omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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