I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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