summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
