I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
