So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
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when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
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Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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