My cat gives me a boner
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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