Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
