Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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