How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
