Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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