Your tits are I can't wait for
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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