Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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