I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
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we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
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So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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