mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
