is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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