Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
