I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
