so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
you had me at cake vodka
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
