dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
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On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
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I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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