i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
