in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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