Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
my poor anus
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize
