we're chasing vodka with high fives
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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