Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
