i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
