When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
