I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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