I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
