all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
