Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he thought i was a dude.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
