CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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