Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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