The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
