Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
someone owes me an orgasm
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
