She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
well you can't waste a boner
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
