In the future we'll all be gay
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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