Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
