wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
