I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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