"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize