So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Please, let me fuck your mom
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
