Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I have post one night stand depression
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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