So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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