She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
