He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
