Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
