we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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