He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
