My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
