Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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