Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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