i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
