Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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