She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
