So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
