I've blown a few things in my day
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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