I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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