the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
