no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
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