Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
