When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
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