im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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