True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
