I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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