from now on my penis is your penis
there's paper in my vomit.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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