That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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