I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
